He is going to Australia for a while..hmm..

If we were still together, he will certainly buy something back for me.

Oh well, but that is not going to happen

I wonder if he know of THAT girl who snatched boys around me just because she feel like it.

I hope he don't fall prey to her, that's all.

2:02 AM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Favourite Teddy There is a 88% chance you'd love me, and 73% chance you'd treat me right!

I'd be one of your favourite teddies. I look good, I feel good, I'm warm and soft and fluffy and all that soft-toy goodness! You'd take good care of me, too! If you lost me around the house you'd be pretty thorough in your searches, and I'd often be treated to hugs. If you see me in the shop you should buy me, I'm just your type!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 53% on Loveability You scored higher than 23% on Treatment

1:09 AM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Buff sweetie You scored 50% masculine, 58% athletic, 27% exotic, and 56% refined!

You like a buff guy with a clean and polished look. However, you do prefer a more innocent look to him and not the testosterone pumped manly man kind. Someone you might like is.......Brad Pitt. (At least in this picture - his style changes so much it's hard to generalize about Brad) But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 36% on masculine You scored higher than 30% on athletic You scored higher than 17% on exotic You scored higher than 74% on refined

1:02 AM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you i'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

9:21 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

I Not Stupid Too so freaking touching! T_T

I was watching the VCD just now and I already tried very hard not to cry cause my dad & mum is around, but I was so touched that I really can't control my tears. Oh my god, so touching ...

Some of the things they showed are really true. Like:

1. When we are young, parents always praise us for even the smallest thing we do but now that we've grown up, they choose to focus on our negative side and scold us non-stop.

2. Our parents like to scold us just because they feel like it (ta men jiang, ta men shuang), they didn't really care about our feelings. They deemed that we are wrong, ought to be scolded, if we defend ourselves, then jiu shi wo men zai ding ta de zui. It is like we are not allowed to make a single sound, so unreasonable!

(Reminds me of how my brother scolded me that night, a sheer case of stupidity!!! After he scold until shiok shiok, then he said "You say lah! You have what to say, just tell me, never mind! Tell me now!". But when i open my mouth to say something, he shoot me back with "That is rubbish! Don't argue back, ok?! Listen to me!". BASTARD.)

Almost 30 and still behave like this? Ma de. Chao ah gua! I bet you 100 bucks he is impotent!

3. No matter how well we do, it is never enough for them.

(Very old example: I consistently scored 90 and above for my Chinese, so they treat it as li suo dang ran. I am the Chinese genius, no need to praise one! That's probably what they think. ONCE, i slack a bit then dropped to 80+, THEN they start to care a bit ... "Wei shen me zhe me di? Bu yao du shu le har? Ni kan qi ta ren cheng ji zhe me hao". Please lor, as if they don't know i'm one of the best in the whole school.)


Aiya.. the show very touching jiu shi le. Cried like mad..
By the way, i went out these few days.. got a lot to blog about but i keep delaying.. haha.. maybe write a super duper long post later.
Bye~

4:40 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

I am so fuckin' tired.

Every step i take feels like walking on moon to me.

Will do a proper update when i wake up later.

8:58 AM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Hitomi wo Tojite

asa mezameru tabi ni
kimi no nukegara ga yoko ni iru
nukumori wo kanjita
itsumo no senaka ga tsumetai
nigawarai wo yamete
omoi ka-ten wo akeyou
mabushisugiru asahi
boku to mainichi no oikakekko da
ano hi miseta nakigao
namida terasu yuuhi kata no nukumori
keshisarou to negau tabi ni
kokoro ga karada ga kimi wo oboeteiru

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga boku no kokoro wo okizari ni shite mo

itsuka ha kimi no koto
nanimo kanjinakunaru no ka na
ima no itami idaite
nemuru hou ga mada ii ka na
ano hi miteta hoshizora
negai kakete futari sagashita hikari ha
mabataku ma ni kieteku no ni
kokoro ha karada ha kimi de kagayaiteru

I wish forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore shika dekinai
tatoe sekai ga boku wo nokoshite sugisarou to shite mo

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga boku wo nokoshite iro wo kaeyou to mo
kioku no naka ni kimi wo sagasu yo sore dake de ii
nakushita mono wo koeru tsuyosa wo kimi ga kureta kara
kimi ga kureta kara

4:22 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Sorry for the previous posts ...
I'm fine now =)

Really, this chao ah gua, i've stopped regarding him as a 'brother' years ago. I wish him dead but couldn't do so, cause i'll get caught by Singapore police and be dead myself too, so i don't have the guts to hold the knife and stab him repeatedly. At times like this, i wish i didn't have that much sensibility.

It's just that when he crossed the line and as usual, take things in his damn fucking hands (when he really shouldn't), I simply lose it.

I'm sorry for the harsh words i used which may cause some discomfort to the one reading it, but i'm not sorry for what i said.

After some bitter crying, i finally decided to send a sms to Guan Tdee, my ever so faithful ex. He replied promptly. But i was at a loss of things to say. Should i tell him everything? Yet at the same time, there isn't really anything good to say, ain't it?

Guan Tdee is someone i should be grateful for. He is forever there, as a friend who is closer than all my friends in the sense that i can tell him everything & anything, for me to lean on mentally when problems overwhelmed me.

Lol... but sometimes his bo chup attitude really get on my nerves. It is the same attitude which will make me realise, "Aiya, it's nothing afterall" =)

I enjoy his late night car rides to various places in Singapore, I enjoy the senseless MSN conversations we had when the both of us are equally bored, I enjoy the sense of security he gave me. Lol.

We won't be together again, that's for sure. But we can be each other's hong yan zhi ji.

*Funny how when my 1st tear rolled down, you were the one who came to my mind immediately. I wanted to call you, thinking that you will understand, thinking that it is ok to contact you now, thinking that ... i need your comfort and accompaniment only. But, that is only so absurd.

9:14 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Why am i crying? Why?

Is it because i am sad that i get scolded AGAIN just because they feel like it?
Must be.

Is it because i am insulted again?
Must be.

Is it because i felt so small and weak by the fact that even my family members are not reliable?
Must be.

Is it because .....
There are too many reasons for me to list out... Only i know myself best.

What right has that chao ah gua to insult me? Because he is older? Because he is my brother?
Bullshit! These reasons are so lame! Just because that i have no choice to be younger than them, they abuse their rights on me! Only me!

Fuck. I so want someone to talk to on the phone. But fuck. I cannot bother other people, it is not right. I mean, no one wants to listen to other people's problem and hear them sobbing right? So I better don't ma fan ren jiao.

I don't want to cry! I am not in the wrong! But i can't stop!
Crying = feeling weak.
I should be furious!
But why am i crying?
Why?

8:23 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

Tell me lah!
This kind of mother!
This kind of brothers!
How to not develop hatred in your heart?!

The eldest brother is a chao ah gua who surprisingly got a stupid gf who can stand his low level of intelligence.
The other brother is a sarcastic bitch. (Yes, you read it right. I wrote bitch. And no, i'm not that stupid to make such a mistake. That's exactly what i mean.)

If I were to get some award or prize and have to make a thank-you speech, it'll probably go like this:

"I want to thank my brothers for insulting and bullying me since young. I want to thank my parents for not trusting me and seldom recognising my achievements, no matter how big they are. I want to thank my dog, my only companion, for being with me all the time. I want to thank them for not having the intelligence i have, I think i don't belong to this family. Thank you."

There you have it!

7:54 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

ni wang le ni shuo de

na yi miao shuo de hua, fei le
zai shi jian de sen lin xiao shi le

shui shuo le hao duo ci ai wo
man man man man ting bu jian le

dang chu de shen me,
hou lai cai xiao de
...wo ting cuo le

2:06 AM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥

4th day of being sick - 80% recovered.


The after-effect of losing your appetite while being sick is, feeling hungry very easily.
Yes.
But come to think of it, so far, i only had 1 meal.

Received the offer letter from MDIS and i can't smile.
They want me to make my payment within 4 days.
4 days.
When the clock strikes twelve tonight, i'll be left with 3 days.
3 days.

If i didn't make the payment by 24 April, my place will be taken off just like that.

Aiya, i'm very vexed.
Won't update anymore.

6:50 PM
I told you everything, opened up and let you in.

♥