.

2006-05-05T02:02:00.000+08:00

He is going to Australia for a while..hmm..

If we were still together, he will certainly buy something back for me.

Oh well, but that is not going to happen

I wonder if he know of THAT girl who snatched boys around me just because she feel like it.

I hope he don't fall prey to her, that's all.

2006-05-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

Favourite Teddy
There is a 88% chance you'd love me, and 73% chance you'd treat me right!

I'd be one of your favourite teddies. I look good, I feel good, I'm warm and soft and fluffy and all that soft-toy goodness!

You'd take good care of me, too! If you lost me around the house you'd be pretty thorough in your searches, and I'd often be treated to hugs.

If you see me in the shop you should buy me, I'm just your type!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 53% on Loveability
You scored higher than 23% on Treatment

2006-05-01T01:02:00.000+08:00

Buff sweetie
You scored 50% masculine, 58% athletic, 27% exotic, and 56% refined!

You like a buff guy with a clean and polished look. However, you do prefer a more innocent look to him and not the testosterone pumped manly man kind. Someone you might like is.......Brad Pitt. (At least in this picture - his style changes so much it's hard to generalize about Brad) But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 36% on masculine
You scored higher than 30% on athletic
You scored higher than 17% on exotic
You scored higher than 74% on refined

2006-04-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you i'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

2006-04-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

I Not Stupid Too so freaking touching! T_T

I was watching the VCD just now and I already tried very hard not to cry cause my dad & mum is around, but I was so touched that I really can't control my tears. Oh my god, so touching ...

Some of the things they showed are really true. Like:

1. When we are young, parents always praise us for even the smallest thing we do but now that we've grown up, they choose to focus on our negative side and scold us non-stop.

2. Our parents like to scold us just because they feel like it (ta men jiang, ta men shuang), they didn't really care about our feelings. They deemed that we are wrong, ought to be scolded, if we defend ourselves, then jiu shi wo men zai ding ta de zui. It is like we are not allowed to make a single sound, so unreasonable!

(Reminds me of how my brother scolded me that night, a sheer case of stupidity!!! After he scold until shiok shiok, then he said "You say lah! You have what to say, just tell me, never mind! Tell me now!". But when i open my mouth to say something, he shoot me back with "That is rubbish! Don't argue back, ok?! Listen to me!". BASTARD.)

Almost 30 and still behave like this? Ma de. Chao ah gua! I bet you 100 bucks he is impotent!

3. No matter how well we do, it is never enough for them.

(Very old example: I consistently scored 90 and above for my Chinese, so they treat it as li suo dang ran. I am the Chinese genius, no need to praise one! That's probably what they think. ONCE, i slack a bit then dropped to 80+, THEN they start to care a bit ... "Wei shen me zhe me di? Bu yao du shu le har? Ni kan qi ta ren cheng ji zhe me hao". Please lor, as if they don't know i'm one of the best in the whole school.)

Aiya.. the show very touching jiu shi le. Cried like mad..
By the way, i went out these few days.. got a lot to blog about but i keep delaying.. haha.. maybe write a super duper long post later.
Bye~

2006-04-23T08:58:00.000+08:00

I am so fuckin' tired.

Every step i take feels like walking on moon to me.

Will do a proper update when i wake up later.

2006-04-22T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hitomi wo Tojite

asa mezameru tabi ni
kimi no nukegara ga yoko ni iru
nukumori wo kanjita
itsumo no senaka ga tsumetai
nigawarai wo yamete
omoi ka-ten wo akeyou
mabushisugiru asahi
boku to mainichi no oikakekko da
ano hi miseta nakigao
namida terasu yuuhi kata no nukumori
keshisarou to negau tabi ni
kokoro ga karada ga kimi wo oboeteiru

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga boku no kokoro wo okizari ni shite mo

itsuka ha kimi no koto
nanimo kanjinakunaru no ka na
ima no itami idaite
nemuru hou ga mada ii ka na
ano hi miteta hoshizora
negai kakete futari sagashita hikari ha
mabataku ma ni kieteku no ni
kokoro ha karada ha kimi de kagayaiteru

I wish forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore shika dekinai
tatoe sekai ga boku wo nokoshite sugisarou to shite mo

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite kimi wo egaku yo sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga boku wo nokoshite iro wo kaeyou to mo
kioku no naka ni kimi wo sagasu yo sore dake de ii
nakushita mono wo koeru tsuyosa wo kimi ga kureta kara
kimi ga kureta kara

2006-04-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the previous posts ...
I'm fine now =)

Really, this chao ah gua, i've stopped regarding him as a 'brother' years ago. I wish him dead but couldn't do so, cause i'll get caught by Singapore police and be dead myself too, so i don't have the guts to hold the knife and stab him repeatedly. At times like this, i wish i didn't have that much sensibility.

It's just that when he crossed the line and as usual, take things in his damn fucking hands (when he really shouldn't), I simply lose it.

I'm sorry for the harsh words i used which may cause some discomfort to the one reading it, but i'm not sorry for what i said.

After some bitter crying, i finally decided to send a sms to Guan Tdee, my ever so faithful ex. He replied promptly. But i was at a loss of things to say. Should i tell him everything? Yet at the same time, there isn't really anything good to say, ain't it?

Guan Tdee is someone i should be grateful for. He is forever there, as a friend who is closer than all my friends in the sense that i can tell him everything & anything, for me to lean on mentally when problems overwhelmed me.

Lol... but sometimes his bo chup attitude really get on my nerves. It is the same attitude which will make me realise, "Aiya, it's nothing afterall" =)

I enjoy his late night car rides to various places in Singapore, I enjoy the senseless MSN conversations we had when the both of us are equally bored, I enjoy the sense of security he gave me. Lol.

We won't be together again, that's for sure. But we can be each other's hong yan zhi ji.

*Funny how when my 1st tear rolled down, you were the one who came to my mind immediately. I wanted to call you, thinking that you will understand, thinking that it is ok to contact you now, thinking that ... i need your comfort and accompaniment only. But, that is only so absurd.

2006-04-21T20:23:00.000+08:00

Why am i crying? Why?

Is it because i am sad that i get scolded AGAIN just because they feel like it?
Must be.

Is it because i am insulted again?
Must be.

Is it because i felt so small and weak by the fact that even my family members are not reliable?
Must be.

Is it because .....
There are too many reasons for me to list out... Only i know myself best.

What right has that chao ah gua to insult me? Because he is older? Because he is my brother?
Bullshit! These reasons are so lame! Just because that i have no choice to be younger than them, they abuse their rights on me! Only me!

Fuck. I so want someone to talk to on the phone. But fuck. I cannot bother other people, it is not right. I mean, no one wants to listen to other people's problem and hear them sobbing right? So I better don't ma fan ren jiao.

I don't want to cry! I am not in the wrong! But i can't stop!
Crying = feeling weak.
I should be furious!
But why am i crying?
Why?

2006-04-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

Tell me lah!
This kind of mother!
This kind of brothers!
How to not develop hatred in your heart?!

The eldest brother is a chao ah gua who surprisingly got a stupid gf who can stand his low level of intelligence.
The other brother is a sarcastic bitch. (Yes, you read it right. I wrote bitch. And no, i'm not that stupid to make such a mistake. That's exactly what i mean.)

If I were to get some award or prize and have to make a thank-you speech, it'll probably go like this:

"I want to thank my brothers for insulting and bullying me since young. I want to thank my parents for not trusting me and seldom recognising my achievements, no matter how big they are. I want to thank my dog, my only companion, for being with me all the time. I want to thank them for not having the intelligence i have, I think i don't belong to this family. Thank you."

There you have it!

2006-04-21T02:06:00.000+08:00

ni wang le ni shuo de

na yi miao shuo de hua, fei le
zai shi jian de sen lin xiao shi le

shui shuo le hao duo ci ai wo
man man man man ting bu jian le

dang chu de shen me,
hou lai cai xiao de
...wo ting cuo le

2006-04-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

4th day of being sick - 80% recovered.

The after-effect of losing your appetite while being sick is, feeling hungry very easily.
Yes.
But come to think of it, so far, i only had 1 meal.

Received the offer letter from MDIS and i can't smile.
They want me to make my payment within 4 days.
4 days.
When the clock strikes twelve tonight, i'll be left with 3 days.
3 days.

If i didn't make the payment by 24 April, my place will be taken off just like that.

Aiya, i'm very vexed.
Won't update anymore.

2006-04-19T11:28:00.000+08:00

3rd day of being sick.

Feeling much better now, hope to fully recover by tomorrow.

Had a nightmare last night and a good dream this morning :)
These 2 are sort of linked to each other in the sense that the main character is the same person.
Stupid stalker!

Ate 2 panadols on the 1st day. Until someone keep telling me the side effects of it.
Turned off.
So i didn't ate any on the 2nd day.
Not planning to eat any today too.

I sent my resume and lousy recent photo to apply for a temp 2 months admin assistant job yesterday. The pay was rather high :) just nice to pay for my 1st installment of school fees . . . but not enough for me to buy new clothes and get a perm too :(

My voice is terrible! Sigh.. if they decided to hire me, then how am i going to talk to them?

The best part of being sick is that you can choose not to eat if you don't feel like it. You have all the valid reasons in this world to skip your meal. Woo ~ But seriously, i only have appetite for 1 meal per day which is usually brunch.

2006-04-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

Good night, sleep tight :)

2006-04-18T17:21:00.000+08:00

Aah.. Ma Yi & Cao Ge dating! ^^

So sweet lah ~

I love to see couples happily together!

2006-04-18T15:21:00.000+08:00

2nd day of being sick.

Yesterday afternoon while sleeping, i choke on my saliva and vomitted. -_-
Gross, i know.
Then i keep coughing and coughing all day until my voice become as awful as slaughtered pigs.

Worst thing is! My mum keep asking me questions after questions! I reply her once, i reply her twice, i reply her thrice! The same questions over and over again! (Seriously, there might be something wrong with her memory ... she can say the same thing for 3 consecutive times and even when i ask her not to repeat, she will repeat again unknowingly)

I have to strain my voice and answer so many times!
And hers are stupid questions.
She know i am sick, she know i have no appetite but she still keep pushing those not-good-for-throat food to me.

When i am about to sleep at night, guess what she said?

"Ni yao bu yao chi hot dog mian bao?"
That was the last straw!
Eh please lah! I am sleeping leh and here you are, still not giving up!

You might think she is just concerned about my stomach.. Wrong!
She just want me to finish the leftover bread. She said don't let it go to waste.
Her sons can skip meal as and when they like. Me?
If i don't finish my meal or if she see their unfinished meal, she will scold me!
Fuckanathan.
She treat me as a rubbish bin for leftover food.
Fuckanathan again.

Anyway, YoYo came to disturb me this morning . . . I was sleeping on my bed then she stood beside it and look at me. (My bed is just a mattress on the floor -.-) At first i thought she was so sweet ~ wanted to sayang her but i have no energy to do so. Then she stepped on to my bed ( as usual ) and occupy 1/2 of the space!

O.o

I have to squeeze a bit to let her sleep on my bed ... then she keep licking herself, twisting here and there until she occupy 3/4 of the space.

Sometimes she is so annoying! I wish i can strangle her.. haha! :)

The taiwanese seller FINALLY replied yesterday... after i sent 4 emails to him.
Sigh.
Hope to recover by tomorrow.

2006-04-17T15:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Santa,

Please send someone as charming and gentle as Leon Williams over to take care of me.
I promise i'll be good.

Yours truly,
Leaf

2006-04-17T13:26:00.000+08:00

I'm officially sick.

Throat inflammation which lead to fever and which lead to giddiness.

I can even diagnose my illness now . . . I am a pro!

My mum don't allow me to visit the private clinics as it is a waste of $ to her.
But I cannot endure the 30 mins bus journey to Polyclinic . . . the aircon is too cold for me and will worsen my condition.
So I can only get plenty of rest, drink water and drink dissolved panadol. (I have this inability to swallow pills)

Everytime I'm sick, there's no one to take care of me.
Sigh.

My father has to work.
My mother heck care me and even scold me.
My brothers? You mean they are even my brothers?!

Coincidentally, my dog is sick too. She threw up just now and I have to clear her vomit.

Advice to dog owners: When your dog is sick, PLEASE be understanding towards them. They didn't mean to throw up everywhere. Hitting or scolding them will just make them feel guilty and next time, they will think that being sick is a bad thing. Say comforting words to them, pat them and send them to sleep. That's the right way!

If there is a Animal Psychology course, i think i might pass with flying colors.

I keep swallowing saliva to make my throat feel better, i think i will vomit later.

After eating my breakfast, i will go to sleep.

So why am i still using the net? Oh. Because i need to keep in touch with the seller & buyers of Mickey caps. T_T

2006-04-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

Not feeling too good today cause I am feverish and giddy, felt like vomitting now.

Have you seen the Channel U trailer for Rush Hour 2 yet?

That is the crappiest, lamest and lousiest one I have ever seen!

I think they are just trying to do something new and 'creative'.

Seriously, it suck.

2006-04-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

Here's another one:

You responded as a right brained person to 12 questions, and you responded as a left brained person to 6questions. According to the Hemispheric Dominance test, you use your right brain the most. The summary briefly describes your dominance type.

Linear Vs. Holistic Processing

The left side of the brain processes information in a linear manner. It processes from part to whole. It takes pieces, lines them up, and arranges them in a logical order; then it draws conclusions. The right brain however, processes from whole to parts, holistically. It starts with the answer. It sees the big picture first, not the details. If you are right-brained, you may have difficulty following a lecture unless you are given the big picture first. That is why it is absolutely necessary for a right-brained person to read an assigned chapter or background information before a lecture or to survey a chapter before reading. If an instructor doesn't consistently give an overview before he or she begins a lecture, you may need to ask at the end of class what the next lecture will be and how you can prepare for it. If you are predominantly right-brained, you may also have trouble outlining (You've probably written many papers first and outlined them latter because an outline was required). You're the student who needs to know why you are doing something. Left-brained students would do well to exercise their right-brain in such a manner.

Sequential Vs. Random Processing

In addition to thinking in a linear manner, the left brain processes in sequence. The left brained person is a list maker. If you are left brained, you would enjoy making master schedules and and daily planning. You complete tasks in order and take pleasure in checking them off when they are accomplished. Likewise, learning things in sequence is relatively easy for you. For example, spelling involves sequencing - if you are left-brained, you are probability a good speller. The left brain is also at work in the linear and sequential processing of math and in following directions.

By, contrast, the approach of the right-brained student is random. If you are right-brained, you may flit from one tack to another. You will get just as much done, but perhaps without having addressed priorities. An assignment may be late or incomplete, not because you weren't working but because you were working on something else. You were ready to rebel when asked to make study schedules for the week. But because of the random nature of your dominant side, you must make lists, and you must make schedules. This may be your only hope for survival in college. You should also make a special effort to read directions. Oh yes, the mention of spelling makes you cringe. Use the dictionary, carry a Franklin speller, use the spell checker on your computer. Never turn in an assignment without proofing for spelling. Because the right side of the brain is color sensitive, you might try using colors to learn sequence, making the first step green, the second blue, the last red. Or you may want to "walk" a sequence, either by physically going from place to place or by imagining it. For the first step of the sequence, you might walk to the frond door; for the second, to the kitchen; for the third, to the den, etc. Or make Step One a certain place or thing in you dorm room or study place, and Step Two another. If you consistently use the same sequence, you will find that this strategy is transferable to many tasks involving sequence.

Symbolic Vs. Concrete Processing

The left brain has no trouble processing symbols. Many academic pursuits deal with symbols-such as letters, words, and mathematical notations. The left brained person tends to be comfortable with linguistic and mathematical endeavors. Left-brained students will probably just memorize vocabulary words or math formulas. The right brain, on the other hand, wants things to be concrete. The right brain person wants to see, feel, or touch the real object. Right brain students may have had trouble learning to read using phonics. They prefer to see words in context, to see how the formula works. To use your right brain, create opportunities for hands-on activities, use something real whenever possible. You may also want to draw out a math problem or illustrate your notes.

Logical Vs. Intuitive Processing

The left brain processes in a linear, sequential, logical manner. When you process on the left side, you use information piece by piece to solve a math problem or work out a science experiment. When you read and listen, you look for the pieces so that you can draw logical conclusions. If you process primarily on the right side of the brain, you use intuition. You may know the right answer to a math problem but not be sure how you got it. You may have to start with the answer and work backwards. On a quiz, you have a gut feeling as to which answers are correct, and you are usually right. In writing, it is the left brain that pays attention to mechanics such as spelling, agreement, and punctuation. But the right side pays attention to coherence and meaning; that is, your right brain tells you it "feels" right.

Logical Vs. Intuitive Processing

Reality-Based Vs. Fantasy-Oriented Processing

The left side of the brain deals with things the way they are-with reality. When left brain students are affected by the environment, they usually adjust to it. Not so with right brain students. They try to change the environment! Left brain people want to know the rules and follow them. In fact, if there are no rules for situations, they will probably make up rules to follow! Left brain students know the consequences of not turning in papers on time or of failing a test. But right brain students are sometimes not aware that there is anything wrong. So, if you are right brain, make sure you constantly ask for feedback and reality checks. It's too late the day before finals to ask if you can do extra credit. Keep a careful record of your assignments and tests. Visit with your professor routinely. While this fantasy orientation may seem a disadvantage, in some cases it is an advantage. The right brain student is creative. In order to learn about the digestive system, you may decide to "become a piece of food! And since emotion is processed on the right side of the brain, you will probably remember well anything you become emotionally involved in as you are trying to learn.

These are just some of the differences that exist between the left and right hemispheres, but you can see a pattern. Because left brain strategies are the ones used most often in the classroom, right brain students sometimes feel inadequate. However, you now know that you can be flexible and adapt material to the right side of your brain. Likewise, those of you who are predominantly left brain know that it would be wise to use both sides of the brain and employ some right brain strategies.

Weird eh? One said i'm a left-brainer, the other said i'm a right-brainer.

But honestly, i think this result is more accurate cause while i was scan-reading it, i found myself kept saying "Oh my god, this is so damn true!". Especially the part about writing essay and kept wanting to make sure the 'feeling' is right which resulted in taking a longer time to complete than others.

Well, some parts weren't so true though, like the spelling thing. I am a good speller! Like hello?

I think it is so cool to be a right-brainer when majority is left-brainer. Hur hur ~ =)

2006-04-15T15:42:00.000+08:00

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 52%
Visual : 47%
Left : 61%
Right : 38%

Leaf, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant with a balanced preference for auditory and visual inputs. Because of your "centrist" tendencies, the distinctions between various types of brain usage are somewhat blurred.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor, unless it requires total spontaneity and ability to improvise, your weaker traits. However, you are far from rigid or overcontrolled. You possess a degree of individuality, perceptiveness, and trust in your intuition to function at much more sophisticated levels than most.

Having given sufficient attention to detail, you can readily perceive the larger aspects and implications of a situation or of learning. You are functional and practical, but can blend abstraction and theory into your framework readily.

The equivalence of your auditory and visual learning orientation gives you two equally effective sensory input systems, each with distinctive features. You can process both unidimensionally and multidimen- sionally with equal facility. When needed, you sequence material while at other times you "intake it all" and store it for processing later.

Your natural ability to use your senses is also synthesized in your way of learning. You can be reflective in your approach, absorbing material in a non-aggressive manner, and at other times voracious in seeking out stimulation and experience.

Overall you tend to be somewhat more critical of yourself than is necessary and avoid enjoying life too much because of a sense of duty. You feel somewhat constrained and tend to sometimes restrict your expressiveness. In any given situation, you will opt for the rational, and learning of almost any type should be easy for you. You might need certain ideas explained to you in order to fit them into your scheme of things, but you're at least open to that!

2006-04-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

Feel like clearing my hp inbox.

2006-04-14T16:25:00.000+08:00

I'm getting myself worried over one of the line in his MSN nick.

Wtf.

2006-04-11T12:58:00.000+08:00

There's something wrong with my Firefox. All my bookmarks, search engine and the bookmark toolbar is gone! Anyone encounter the same problem too? =(

By the way, I know that I do not have any tagboard or comment thingy for visitors to leave a message . . .

You saw the word "Gossips" on the right? Yea, that's the space meant for my tagboard but currently, i didn't see any nice ones that can blend in with my blogskin. I am a very picky perfectionist, i cannot just put or use anything which will clash and look ugly.

Therefore, I might opt for a comment thingy . . .

Am cooking some meat for my fluffy doggy :D
She is getting very impatient, i have to hug & carry her to the kitchen to let her watch the water boiling, meat being cooked etc.
And now she fell asleep!

2006-04-10T18:13:00.000+08:00

It is 6.12 pm and still no sign of postman! =(

I think he is not coming today . . .

By the way, i realised something.

My Chinese is not good at all, it is just better than some (maybe most) Singaporean teenagers, that's all.

Sigh.

2006-04-10T15:11:00.000+08:00

Just finished bathing!

But the postman is not here yet! =(

While bathing, I began to wonder . . . what if she posted after 5pm last saturday? Then i'll have to wait again tomorrow!

Roar!

2006-04-10T12:38:00.000+08:00

Yea ~ going to receive my purple jacket today!

I simply adore purple stuff, but must depend on which shade of purple lah . . .

Though I just woke up, i'm going to bathe soon cause i think the seller sent the jacket by registered mail so i have to meet the postman. =(

Well, though it might be a little inconvenient for me, she better be sending it by registered mail . . . afterall i paid $27 for it!

Forget it.

I just received her sms. She is sending by normal mail. But wait a minute, because it is bulky item, the postman still have to pass it to me personally! =/ Still need to bathe early. Very sian.

Erm . . . I am a very lazy person by nature.
Can tell?

Been listening to Ken Hirai's "Hitomi Wo Tojite" since yesterday, it is a freaking nice song sang by a handsome guy ~ ^^

I searched for the lyrics and found the English translation & Romanji version at the same site, nice nice. Hmm . . . the romanji weren't too complicated so i can sing most of the words :D

*Yawn* I'm tired.

Oh ya, here's a picture of Ken Hirai:

He's so manly right? *winks*

Years ago, when i could still speak some Japanese (Note: really SOME), sing some Japanese songs (Note: really SOME) and watch some Japanese dramas (Note: not really SOME), I had began to notice this drop-dead gorgeous manly man.

The first song of his that I heard is "Kiss of Life", i can't remember the tune nor the lyrics, heard it while watching some Japanese drama.

Going to bathe now.
Ciaos ~